A third possibility is that the boss in introverted and doesn’t enjoy working with people. A capable employee, he knows he needs to keep up with what’s happening but simply doesn’t want to discuss issues. Thus he uses one-way communication. (I believe Howard Hughes was this way.)
Posted By Peter, Hartford CT : May 10, 2007 10:28 am
Well said. But doesn’t just asking the question suggest the individual is a buffoon?
Posted By Bob, Bethesda MD : May 10, 2007 11:19 am
Your advise to the guy who wants approval to try tostart an adulterous affair was right on point — Unless the guy is a CEO of a Fortune 500 co. who has written a book stating that his family comes last and he surrounds himself with people who put business in front of family like Jack Welsh
Posted By son of bing fairfield ct : May 10, 2007 11:26 am
Re: “I’m very attracted to one of my co-workers”
Good advice, but let me just add something. Just because a young woman smiles at you, laughs at your jokes, and is nice to you, it doesn’t mean that she’s actually interested in you! You know those vibes you think you’re getting? Those aren’t vibes, those are your raging hormones that have survived past your teenage years. Take my advice, as a young female who works around many older males, I’ve had too many instances of “mistaken affection.”
So if you decide to take action, be prepared for the chance that she won’t know what the hell you’re talking about. More likely than not that’s the case, and you’ve been fantasizing about a younger woman who thinks of you as an older brother rather than an older lover. You would have made a fool of yourself, so be prepared to spend the rest of your days at your job feeling awkward around her.
Posted By Younger Woman, San Francisco CA : May 10, 2007 12:33 pm
Right on target. Excellent.
Posted By Don, Lake Villa, Illinios : May 10, 2007 12:53 pm
The advice to the guy who wants to justify fooling around with a younger, married woman was sarcastic, but not sarcastic enough. The idiot may actually take it as serious advice and try to get her into the supply closet for some quickies.
Posted By Jim, Great Falls, Montana : May 10, 2007 2:04 pm
Believe it or not, Stanley, but your column is one of only two reasons (I can’t reveal the other) I renew my Fortune subscription every two years. Your train of thought is crisp, funny and dead-on…just as your advices in this site are. More power!!!
Posted By Norman T., Manila, Philippines : May 10, 2007 11:57 pm
Extremely practical when it comes to the corner room
Posted By S M Shetty Bangalore India : May 11, 2007 7:34 am
Re: Hiding Boss
You’re overcomplicating things. So he doesn’t reply — doesn’t mean he didnt get the email or is uninformed or un-abreast, as it were.
Is the real issue that the boss doesnt deem your emails worthy of a reply? In that case the first question is are you sure he is wrong?
I had a semi-subordinate once whose emails to me were 90% useless spam. I never replied. He never took the hint. Notice the past tense.
Posted By Alex, London, UK : May 11, 2007 10:53 am
Sometimes silence can be verification and confirmation you are doing the right thing(s). I am cool to be under my bosses radar screen as he just lets me plod along with the things that I enjoy doing.
Posted By Richard,Toronto, Ontario : May 13, 2007 1:41 pm
I don’t have any opinion of your advice, but the BS job series is HILARIOUS. I love reading Money and it’s nice to read something funny that I can relate to. You don’t have to try to be funny with work topics, btw. Work in general is hilarious.
Posted By Juanita (not my real name) Maryland : May 14, 2007 9:30 pm
Good I enjoy it. It’s light hearted stuff, away from the everyday mundane.
Posted By Yee Kuan Hing, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia : May 15, 2007 8:48 am
Bing,
The advice to the person that is interested the younger co-worker is too loquacious. The short answer to his questions is “Depends on how hot she is, 8 or above go for it.”
Posted By Jeff Krause, Scottsdale, AZ : May 15, 2007 6:27 pm
This column was sent out to a chefs’ newsletter. Restaurants being slightly different than other areas, the situation is probably different. When a restaurant owner does not return calls or confirm receipt of information, he is quite likely in that state of deer in the headlights paralysis right before the wine vendors refuse to deliver and the fish company shuts down the account until cash is paid for previous all previous shipments. In such a situation the wise employee will have his ears to the ground for other employment.
Posted By Schweigenthaler, San Francisco, CA : May 15, 2007 8:19 pm
I beleive your advice is spot on!!
Posted By Harry Engel, Me;bourne Victoria : May 16, 2007 2:45 am
America, stand up and listen to Stanley, he is dead on. But most of America prefers the Oprah touchy feely no accountablility approach, where companies need three people for every job becasue work ethic is at a all time low.
Posted By Dean Hart, Jr., West Monroe LA : May 16, 2007 9:49 am
ANYTHING YOU SAY I WRITE DOWN IN MY “GOLDEN RULES TO FOLLOW IN BUSINESS”.ALWAYS THE PERFECT ADVISE TO THE SILLY QUESTIONS OR THE MOST COMPLICATED ACTIONS TO TAKE.MY SINCERE CONGRATULATIONS FOR IMMPECABLE COMMON SENSE AND REASONING.IT HAS TAKEN ME TO THE TOP OF MY CAREER.
Posted By MARQUIS DE FERREIRA,NEW YORK CITY,NEW YORK 10028 : May 17, 2007 2:37 pm
TO THE OLD GUY WHO WANTS TO FOOL AROUND WITH THE YOUNGER MARRIED LADY:
You idiot! You as the older, (supposedly) wiser person, are supposed to set the example. The problem with this country is people who have no regard for committment, respect for others, and common decency. Just because a person smiles and is friendly (maybe more than should be) doesn’t mean you should start an affair. Why don’t you get your needs met with someone of your own age group and similar circumstance (I will assume unmarried)?
Start socializing with people outside of work. Go to interest group meetings, cultural events, city festivals, church, ANYTHING! DO NOT even THINK of getting involved with a workplace person, much less a MARRIED ONE. Do not become her counselor, best buddy, or confidant. Steer her toward church, women’s groups, counseling, or whatever, but
A third possibility is that the boss in introverted and doesn’t enjoy working with people. A capable employee, he knows he needs to keep up with what’s happening but simply doesn’t want to discuss issues. Thus he uses one-way communication. (I believe Howard Hughes was this way.)